Into each life a little fallout must rain. -Baba Rebop
It got to a point where I had to get a haircut or a violin. -F.D.Roosevelt
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
It is a very sad thing nowadays that there is so little useless information.
It is absurd to deny the role of fantasy in even the strictest science. -Lenin
It is bad luck to be superstitious. -Andrew W. Mathis
It is better to have loved and lost -- much better.
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark.
It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness, except at the Browns Ferry reactor.
It is better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven. -Milton
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect one.
It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect?
It is fruitless to become lachrymal over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
It is hard to sit with the turkeys when you soar with the eagles.
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
It is the business of the future to be dangerous. -Hawkwind
It is the wise bird who builds her nest in a tree.
It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down. -Paul Newman
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
It steam-engines when it becomes steam-engine time. -Charles Fort
It takes approximately two minutes to reposition the continents from one geological era to another.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
It works better if you plug it in.
It would appear that even BTL employees put their pants on one leg at a time.
It would be wise to cut expectations in half.
It's 5 o'clock. Do you know where your files are?
It's Your Environment -- Use It Up!
It's a hardware problem.
It's a sad woman who buys her own perfume.
It's a small world, but I'd hate to have to paint it.
It's a software problem.
It's a useless but absolutely vital precaution.
It's an empty head that wears a hairpiece. - Pauline Kael
It's business doing pleasure with you.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's deja vu all over again.
It's difficult to explain Kleenex to an aborigine.
It's earlier than you think.
It's funny how they work so well, even when they're not appropriate.
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
It's hard to be mellow when you bite your nails.
It's hard to be mellow when you can't stand up.
It's hard to love someone who looks down on you because your hands get bloody protecting him.
It's just a silly native superstition.
It's later than you think.
It's lonely at the top, but it's lonelier at the bottom.
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either. -Boston Mayor Kevin White
It's not a car, it's a Volkswagen.
It's not cool enough for the eighties.
It's not easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole circus.
It's not my fault -- it's a mechanical problem!
It's not my fault!
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
It's not reality that's important, it's how you perceive things.
It's not the time between the takes that takes the time - it's changing your mind between the takes that takes the time. -Stage Dept.
It's not the time it takes to take the takes that takes the time, it's the time it takes between the takes that takes the time. -S. Spielberg
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
It's only a game!
It's simple, clean, it works, and you can get it right now. -Mike O'Dell
It's some kind of instinct...This was an important place in their lives.
It's the law: Use a pun, go to prism (for minor refractions of the law only!)
It's the thought, if any, that counts! -Dick Grantges
It's time to gearshift up from the crawl we've been in to a full trot. - Jack Scanlon
It's worse than being at the theatre.
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday -- but never jam today.
Jesus Rodrigues has a 9-inch duck.
Jesus saves, Moses invests, the Mongol Hoards, but only Buddha pays dividends.
Join me and I will complete your training.
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
Just be glad you don't get all the government you pay for. -Will Rogers
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Justice for the poor is much less popular than revenge on the rich.
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Ken Thompson can't beat Belle. So what? How fast can Seymour Cray add?
Kids are always the only future the human race has. -William Saroyan
Kill ugly radio!
Klaatu barada nikto.
Kleeneliness is next to Goedeliness.
Label on a bottle of pills: "Do not take these pills if this label is missing"
Lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
Lando's not a system, he's a man. He's a gambler, scoundrel. You'd like him.
Language is a virus from outer space. -William Burroughs.
Language is all that separates us from the lower animals and the bureaucrats.
Last login: Sat Aug 10 09:22:14 on ttym0
Laugh and the world laughs with you; snore and you sleep alone.
Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.
Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, `Hold, enough!'
Leadership means taxes.
Lest men suspect your tale untrue,/Keep probability in view. -John Gay (1727)
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let no one unskilled in geometry enter here. -Plato
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let sleeping wraiths lie.
Let's just take this shortcut across this field. That bull doesn't see us.
Let's look at the record. -Al Smith
Li'l dollink, always fetful.
Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
Life is a game: whoever dies with the most toys wins.
Life is a giant shell and we're just processes.
Life is a mystery -- love is a dancer.
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
Life is hard but unjust.
Life is just a bowl.
Life is not for everyone. -M. O'Donoghue
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
Little girls have pretty curls, but I like Oreos.
Little things come in small packages.
Live forever, or die trying.
Live long and perspire.
Living in the past has one thing in its favour - it's cheaper.
Load average too high now (11.358253), please try later
Local disks are our FORTRAN. -Warren Teitelman
Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught.
Longevity is an optimist's heaven and a pessimist's hell.
Look after the molehills and the mountains will look after themselves.
Look on my works, oh ye mighty, and giggle.
Lord? We don't have no lord. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
Lose a few, lose a few.
Losing your servo track is just God's way of saying `BOOGA, BOOGA!'
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love is a many gendered thing.
Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
Love is only love, but money is forever.
Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach.
Love, and do what thou wilt.
Luchamos contra el Wombat, otra enemigo de la humanidad. -Frente Wombato de Liberacion Nacional
Luke, don't give in to hate. That leads to the dark side.
MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING
Machne oprating at olny tn prcnt eficiency.
Macro context switch under way, please do not log out!
Make War, not Love: killing is fun too. -Nicholas von Hoffman
Make a list of all the facts you know about the universe.
Make is like Pascal: everybody likes it, so they go in and change it. -DM Ritchie
Make use of whatever advanced technology is available
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
Making outside money using our computers has resulted in suspension.
Making sense makes more sense than not making sense. -T. Duff
Male tyrannosaurs may have used their diminutive front legs to titillate female partners, but this will not explain why they got so small. - Gould and Lewontin
Man cannot live by bread alone: frequently, there must be beverage, too.
Man cannot live by bread alone; he needs a little peanut butter on it.
Man has created death. -William Butler Yeats
Man is in doubt to deem himself a god or beast. -Alexander Pope
Man is in session.
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
Many are called, few volunteer.
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
Many pages make a thick book.
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention.
Marriage is an attempt to change a night owl into a homing pigeon.
Masterpieces make their own rules.
May I have a large container of coffee?
May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits.
May you live all the days of your life.
May your rolling stone always grow grass that is greener underneath.
Maybe I should have screwed up. - Ken Thompson
Mcc may be slow and generate bad code, but it took a long time to develop.
Medeis ageometretos eisito mou ten stegen. -Plato
Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses. -Dorothy Parker.
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
Message will arrive in the mail. Destroy, before the FBI sees it.
Micronics makes it simple.
Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
Military justice is to justice as military music is to music. -Clemenceau
Military music is to music as military intelligence is to intelligence
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Misfortunes arrive on wings and leave on foot.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Money cannot buy happiness, but happiness will not buy groceries.
Money is a terrible thing to follow but a charming thing to meet.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
Most sacrilegious murder hath broke ope/The Lord's anointed temple. -MacBeth
Most users are within a 10 mile radius.
Mr. President! We cannot allow ... a MINE-SHAFT GAP!
Multi sunt vocati, pauci vero electi.
Multilevel standards are like onions. They're smelly and make you cry a lot. -Ron Natalie
My broker is E. F. Hutton, and E. F. Hutton says...
My karma just ran over your dogma.
My program is so jammed with clever tricks - GJ Holzmann
My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world.
NOT NOT NOT ALLOWED
Naked is the best disguise.
National security is the chief cause of national insecurity.
Need a personal problem? Get a personal computer. - C. P. Killian
Neither a borrower nor a lender be/For loan oft loses both itself and friend.
Nembutal numbs it all, but I prefer alcohol. -Strummer/Jones
Netnews is someone yelling "Anybody wanna buy a used car?" in a crowded theater.
Never argue with a fool -- people might not know the difference.
Never attribute to malice what can be found in scientific american, under computer recreations.
Never buy a case of wine with eleven bottles.
Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Never eat in a restaurant that rotates or is above the 10th floor.
Never eat rutabaga on any day of the week that has a "y" in it.
Never give a inch!
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject.
Never stow away on a kamikaze plane.
Never worry the boss unnecessarily. Don't tell him.
New career ideas are worth pursuing.
New crypt. See /usr/news/crypt.
Niagara Falls is the second-biggest disappointment in a bride's life. -O. Wilde
Niagara Falls is the wise bird who builds her nest in a chinese computer terminal!
Niagara Falls would be much more impressive if it flowed the other way. - Oscar Wilde
Nihilism means nothing to the dancing peasants.
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No branch is better than its trunk.
No directory
No directory! Logging in with home=/
No good deed goes unpunished. -Clare Booth Luce.
No jaggies!
No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
No mistake is too small to be fixed, but first make sure it's a mistake.
No news is good news.
No note is too high to be taken down an octave.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
No two ways about it, there are two sides to every story.
No user jobs will be lost because of the crash.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nobody goes to the theatre unless suffering from acute bronchitis.
Nobody is truly sane until he feels gratitude to the whole universe.
Nobody knows anything, or if they do, they are careful to hide the fact.
Nobody takes computer graphics seriously, even the guys that do it. -T. Duff
Non serviam.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Not all the water in a rough rude sea/Can wash the balm from an anointed king.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on Sundays.
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing difficult is ever easy. -Steve Falco
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.
Nothing is true. Everything is permissible. -Hassan i Sabbah
Nothing matters indeed, it's all in your mind...
Nothing more certain than incertainties; Fortune is full of fresh variety: Constant in nothing but inconstancy. - Richard Barnfield.
Nothing of interest ever happened on this day.
Nothing works. No one knows why. And some jerk is talking French. -Bob Lied
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer in Northern California.
Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this sun of York.
O brave new world,/That has such people in't!
O dear Ophelia! I am ill at these numbers: I have not art to reckon my groans.
O.T.O. wants you.
OK, I think I understand.
OS 360 -- Not uranium.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
Of all things man is the measure. -Protagoras
Oh, don't the days seem lank and long, when all goes right and nothing goes wrong.
Oh, so there you are!
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
Old age -- it's the only disease that you don't look forward to being cured of.
Omnibus ex nihil ducendis sufficit unum. -Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Once TOAD is operational, how frequently would you expect to access TOAD?
One Bell System -- it sometimes works.
One Bell System -- it works.
One bad apple can ruin a snake.
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. -H. L. Mencken
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One man's Mede is another man's Persian.
One picture is worth 128k words.
One scythe fits all.
One starts life with a swelled head and ends with swelled feet. -Ezra Pound
Only %d shopping days until Christmas.
Only God can make a random selection.
Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
Only two things are infinite: the universe and human ignorance. -A. Einstein
Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, or is that ontology recapitulates philology?
Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. -Haeckel
Ontogeny rehashes phylogeny.
Ooh, Andy Tannenbaum? His netnews is SO derivative.
Options can cause undesirable operations, so it is important to ensure they are set up properly.
Order ignorant aliens.
Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
Otto's too so-so to toss soot, too sot to toot SOSs. So?
Our ancestors may have been ignorant, but they were not stupid.
Our sponsor thought it was for ADA. In fact it was for C.
Our vision will speed up time, eventually deleting it. -Alexander Schure
Out of memory saving lines for undo - try using ed.
Out of the mouths of babes comes semi-digested Pablum.
Overall there is a smell of fried onions. (fnord)
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
Panem et circenses, that's what the public wants.
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway oh, God, I'm so depressed...
Passing over a black hole temporarily disables ship.
Password:
People get it into their heads that this is a democracy. Well it isn't. -gwl
People never go there anymore; it's too crowded. -Yogi Berra
People really shouldn't spread gossip, but what else is it good for?
People tend to congregate in the back of the church and the front of the bus.
People usually do what other people have done before them.
People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten. -Jon Bentley
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy us who do.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
Per omnia saecula vombatidae.
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
Perfect love casteth out fear.
Person who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
Personality is a flimsy thing on which to build an art. -John Cage
Philosophy is the Rule of Life.
Philosopy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
Physician, bill thyself.
Planning dooms most projects.
Please log off, the computer is out to get in your room and drink?
Please log off, the computer is out to lunch.
Please take note:
Please to remember the Fifth of November, Gunpowder Treason and Plot.
Plunk your magic twanger, froggy.
Pluralites non est punenda sine necessitate. -Wm. of Occam
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
Populus vult decipi.
Pornography is in the groin of the beholder. -William F. Buckley
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.
Post proelium, praemium.
Pregnant ropuli.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil. -D. E. Knuth
Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!
Prevention makes the heart grow fonder.
Primate behaviour only changes under the impact of new technology.
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -Don Marquis
Programming and puddings demand consistency.
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Proper planning includes admitting that your plan may not work.
Total performance commercial carpet in convenient 18" squares
A procedure can never use its own name in any way except to refer to itself.
I'm a GEI kind of guy. - J Bentley
eqn: illegal size of ignored near line 386, file part.5
Music is the can opener of the soul. -Henry Miller
Robert Elz is the Mark Horton of the south. - P. Dick-Lauder
2 -rw-r--r-- 1 mp 1239 Jan 17 09:40 hite upper middle class IS AN INVALID DESTINATION.
Rest frequently while shoveling snow.
Never put snow on a frostbitten part.
Eat more fish and less red meat.
Drive away from a tornado at a right angle.
Start off the day with a nourishing meal.
Keep stairways clear of clutter.
Discard medicine more than two years old.
Stopping smoking slows emphysema's progress.
Reduce speed in wet or foggy weather.
Lengthen interval when the road is wet.
Before physical activity warm up gradually.
Don't eat a large meal before driving.
Get help when lifting heavy objects.
Don't use gasoline for cleaning.
Put a smoke detector in your vacation cottage.
Always read the labels on pesticides.
To avoid falls watch where you step.
To overcome stress do things that relax you.
Popcorn is a good fiber food.
Gray-tinted sunglasses reduce glare the most.
Cut down on fatty, high-calorie foods.
Use a salt substitute if blood pressure's high.
Replace worn electrical cord without delay.
Good passing rule: when in doubt, don't.
Bicycle with the traffic flow.
For relief submerge a bum in cold water.
Always check fire exits in hotels and motels.
Draw up a family fire-escape plan.
Go with your kids when you go trick or treating.
Take your car in for a tune-up.
Carry a medical information card.
Keep flammables away from space heaters.
Buckle up even on short auto trips.
Drive with the traffic not against the clock.
Send your party guests home sober.
Let me put it to you this way: computers are my business. - A.G. Hume
Business is where the money is. - John Scully (CEO of Apple)
Anything with the word 'generation' in it has to be wrong. - T.A. Cargill
Today's technological mastery is tomorrow's obsolescence.
23582.0u 2166.7s 21404r mk
A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. -Paul Erdös
SCAPEGOAT=rob
sh: /dev/null restricted
Do not smoke near an open drawer. - Bell Labs safety manual.
Like Nero, the government fiddled while Rome burned--only it wasn't Rome. -- Jim Olson
FYI: POWER DIP OCCURED YESTERDAY AT 21:55...IS YOUR 3B2 OK???
Don't ignore where the writer is in the draft.
Hunting & Fishing licenses are free to the blind, handicapped or mentally retarded.
mail: new message arrived
Bad termcap entry
Reverting to old tty driver...
Thank you for using AT&T.
The preferred steel for rodent protection is Type 304 stainless with a thickness of 3 mils.
I'm TRYING to be a back end! - A Hume
Stay clear of falling objects.
5/26: /unix2 out of pace please clean up!!!!!
Redundant hardware is not cost-effective when compared to administration-mediation solutions.
Warning: .lastlogin was altered since last login
If it's Weinberger, I'm going with Ditzel. - rob
If you have any questions, call Ralph Knag at MH x5291
Possession is nine-tenths of the privileged computer access code of ethics.
Ignorance of the privileged computer access code of ethics is no excuse.
It's not easy being Joan. -- rob
Omit needless words that cause verbosity.
rx: call to gauss failed: who_cares
chown to owner: Not owner
There are only 26 calls and most of them are trivial.
In this country, everything loose rolls to the west coast. -T. Vanderslice, Apollo
We have people doing a lot of fun stuff. That doesn't mean you don't wear suits. -R. Pampel, Apollo
ROOT MODIFIED
I don't have any courses for which I haven't written books. -Andy Tanenbaum
Stop.
(a0719) u wPM-US-Add a0712-a07rethan80mph.Thearrestingpatrolmanaskedhimifwantedtochecktheinstrumentusedtorecordhishighspeed. 07-21 0794
550 ians... User unknown: Not a typewriter
DELTA backup is running, system response will be slightly degraded.
tar: slg/duckstuff/desktop/UNIXpractice.drw/shortcuts.fdr/spaces?slashes.fdr/.@questions and comments.doc: file name too long
The world should be full of Brian Kernighans and technical people. -J Macor
If you keep an open mind, people will put a lot of garbage in it.
A monoid is an associative monad; its underlying magma is a semigroup.
162 is unimplemented
Norm does not protect against overflow. - cos(9.3)
Content-Length: 0
In our system, /usr/include/sys is a hazard. -mvs
Awk is certainly not perfect. - The Awk Book
Areas of communication may be very busy at present.
Gratuitously incomplete sentence.
xyv: protocol fault for some string
You are the sponsor for the account andrew (Andrew Hume).
I am not worried about the real world. -Pamela Zave
To 8 AM EDT /79: high 63 low 5, prob. precip. to 8 PM 0% to 8 AM 2147477332%
Digital plans to offer a better solution, not a better product. - R. Glorioso, DEC
I've got it! It's a triple helix! L. Pauling 1954.
Incest more common than thought in United States
RFC 822 delenda est.
I'm not writing any more tapes, ever. -A. Hume.
Subject: Please ignore extra headers
I wouldn't take any advice, if I were you.
The blue drinks are $5.75, the pink $8.00.
You are unlucky enough to bump into all my rough edges. -A. Hume
When you're getting fired at from both sides, you're in the middle of something.
A vertical conference is a center-wide conference. - Steve Bellovin
It is Unix. It is possible to overcome any number of these bogus features. -pjw
"term/select.c", line 116: compiler error: bad bigsize: 010
Sorry, I don't know how to deal with your 'dumb' terminal.
I am become death, the shatterer of worlds. -Baghavad Gita (quoted by Oppenheimer)
The product classroom is marked pass-fail.
An X server itself is not a big piece of software, only a few 100K.
So, the next time something doesn't work, just push 'til it clicks. -Ag Primatic
I have a different view of the world. -Andrew Hume. Show&Tell '87
For 40 days and 40 nights, you [Arthur Fadden] held the destiny of Australia in the hollow of your head. -Arthur Calwell
The best weapon against breast cancer is early detention.
Licorice is the liver of candy. -Michael O'Donoghue
Al Schumann, that devil-may-care Intern from FSD is leaving Tom Houghton's Security Group.
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff. -Eisenhower
Is there no room for competition in the standards industry? -R. Hardin
Now is not the time to be falling out of windows. -R Mclellan
A universal thought dispenses with communication.
ISDN is real and implementable.
When a man celebrates his God, he changes his sex.
The rays of the Sun are penholders which night gorges with ink. -- Reb Adal
Warning: system out of share structures, using "root".
Wed Dec 30 21:27:30 1987 EDT
5. Il riversamento = dump in inglese.
E tutta colpa di Ken!
Ken is an allem schuld!
C'est la faute de Ken!
Het is de schuld van Ken.
I've got lots of bad examples. -td
(void)vacuous(node);
I'd rather have :rofix than const. -DM Ritchie
To dissimulate is to feign not to have what one has. - J Baudrillard
unlinking v/v1971/272; already have /n/bowell/usr/games
FAILING HW: DEC
Life is what the least of us make most of us feel the least of us make the most of. -Quine
Received: from Messages.6.0.CUILIB.3.41.SNAP.NOT.LINKED.holmes.andrew.cmu.edu.rt.r3 via MS.4.0.holmes.andrew.cmu.edu.rt_r3
The better your 4-wheel drive, the further out you get stuck.
With Basic you just use a GOTO, with Pascal you have to indent 99% of the program halfway across the page! -Ted M. Young (A Basic programmer for 12 years)
You know your apartment's small if you can't tell its position and speed simultaneously.
... Forking an allegro process requires only seconds... -V. Kelly
Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
Some day we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
One hundred humidities equal one rain.
Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
But an autopsy on the woman's headless body failed to reveal why she died.
For ease of arithmetic we call 256 the largest index even though it is really 255, except at 255 itself. -- from a manual
Only the future is certain; the past is always changing. -Polish proverb
A victory is the greatest tragedy in the world, except a defeat. -Wellington
A victory is the greatest tragedy in the world, except SunWindows. -Wellington
If you don't have a sense of humor, it's just not funny. -Wavy Gravy
Noalias must go. This is non-negotiable. -Dennis Ritchie
We are currently experiencing all printing problems
Due to illness, the /tbl design review is postponed until further notice.
Due to technical problems, the BEST movie will be shown tommorrow.
We say space is 3 dimensional because prison walls are 2 dimensional. -Hermann Weyl
Two wrongs don't make a right; three lefts do.
I've got plenty of inputs and outputs. I don't need the video. -Andrew Hume
Cannot open phone book for <attrd>. Try a different company.
con: connecting to coma
We may be bureaucrats but we are not venal. -IRS Chief Counsel William Nelson
Children can be substituted for adults in any case; however adults cannot be substituted for children. -Amtrak
Education is basically useless, except for those rare cases when it's not really necessary. -Feynman
Your 1 requests have been sent
The book every man has inside him should usually stay there. - AJP Taylor
X windows uses its hindbrain instead of its forebrain. -N Wilson
Cryptogamous concretion never grows on mineral fragments that decline repose.
The best place to find new dinosaurs is to look in basements. -Robert T. Bakker
DUE TO DAMAGES, ALL SHREDDERS ARE OUT OF SERVICE.
?12 Machine check during machine check.
Things greater than the same thing are greater than each other. -L. Carroll (Sylvie and Bruno)
UX:cat: ERROR: usage: cat [-u][-s][-v[-t][-e]] file ...; TO FIX: refer to manual UX:cat:138
There are no known bugs on the old versions of grep, fgrep, or sed that will cause any instability in the operating systems.
How do they know that flies carry diseases unknown to man? -BW Kernighan
A fully declared Common Lisp program is as robust as assembly language.
It's not who you know, but who you get drunk with, that counts. -P Dick-Lauder
The knee is the Achilles heel of the leg.
buf[hdr[0]] = 0; /* unbelievably lazy ken (twit) */ - Andrew Hume
Only one man ever understood me. And he didn't understand me. -Hegel (on his deathbed)
X is a temporary standard, like FORTRAN. - Andries van Dam
Just think--IBM and DEC in the same room--and we did it. Makes you feel warm inside. -K Thompson
Nuclear war doesn't prove who's right, just who's left.
The downside of having an architecture is wart-for-wart compatibility. -Bob Willard, DEC
When the dinosaurs are mating, climb a tree. -SC Johnson
They made me a department head for little junky programs like this. -PJ Weinberger
The longest POSIX error name is ENAMETOOLONG
Hi! This is your favorite irritation -- Andrew!
Optimal clutch power comes after eight to ten couplings. -LEGO manual
rhknag 118 248 1 0 107 72761 dk04 R 903:10 tabs
b f BC-DadaStream% 0Advisory 08-!9 0050^ thelist mofing soon. ^The AP A@-NB- 8-19-(' 1353EDT<
sed: Too much text: s/blow your own horn/BLOW YOUR OWN HORN/
There is just a little bit of Star Trek in all of the love you feel for another human being. -Mark V. Shaney
The two problems in supercomputer design are the thickness of the mat and getting rid of the heat. -S. Cray
Don't store your records anywhere you wouldn't store your valium!
"trans.c":31932:compiler error: out of temporary string space
It doesn't matter if you don't know how your program works, so long as it's parallel -R. O'Keefe
DAMNIT, I AM NOT TOUCHY!!!! (and you can stick that in your fortunes file) -G. Holzmann
find: missing conjunction
reading worm0 directory (a couple of minutes)
Warning: .lastlogin did not exist, creating it
Fungus doesn't take a vacation. -Rob Pike
Murder should be put back in the home--where it belongs. -Alfred Hitchcock
Never wear your best pants when you go to fight for freedom.
On average, pantyhose wearers buy three pairs per month.
Hello new user, welcome to the Sun computing environment
If you have any questions about your Sun workstation, please call CORNET 624-2772
"Coma" is not the sort of name I'd use if I were striving to present a professional image. -M Horton
Facts are stupid things. -R.W. Reagan
sendmail[94] AA00493: SYSERR: net hang reading from coma: Connection timed out during greeting wait with coma
In the last 100 years man's capability started to grow exponentially, to literally explode. -E. E. Sumner
inews: Article rejected: mvs included more text than new text
For gift delivery anywhere call 1-800-CHEER-UP (except where prohibited by law).
sh: /usr/lib/sendmail: too big
How much net work could a network work, if a network could net work?
JUMP DON'T SIT
?warning: write might change good version of `/dev/null'
550 backbone... User unknown: Inappropriate ioctl for device
A lot about zarf is buggered. -AR Koenig
/dev/rra13: !!counts may be wrong, RERUN chuck!
There is no such thing as a Berkeley UNIX system. -J Herndon
If your mailer pays attention to pathalias output, it obviously isn't dumb. - comp.mail.uucp
Performance doesn't matter if your product is sufficiently feature-rich. --SF system engineer
considering 3 files, 0 already backed up
file transfer: unexpected return 'O' (0117) from backup logger
remember, things can still go awry until your files appear in backup grep
10/03:System crashed 11am,Motor Generator Failure.System back at 11:30am.
perform: Stale NFS file handle
(Note: an infected 8800 is an awesome engine of contagion.)
I believe that robots are stealing my luggage. -- Steve Martin.
$ Editor (vi or emacs)?
The reason you subscribe to a mailing list is you don't get all the crap you get on netnews. -DM Ritchie
The Nobel Peace Prize is something worth fighting for.
A fault is generally handled with a fault-handling procedure (called a fault handler) -intel 80960 ref man
gets. A clock-tick of convenience. A process-lifetime of regret. -John Woods
PLEASE LOG IN TO 3B20'S AT 4800 BAUD.
Even consistent crap is better than random crap. - Brian Redman
panic: pagefault as_hole
looking on optical disk (this may take a few minutes)
Ksh was broken on alice for a while. It hasn't dumped core lately - is it now safe to use?
The difference between a computer scientist and a hacker is that the computer scientist knows what an exponential is. -MD McIlroy
new worm (and worm-related backup stuff) soaking on wild.
MS/DOS is not dead, it just smells that way
For detailed information on the "info" command, type "man info".
We are tied down to a language that makes up in obscurity what it lacks in style. - Stoppard
Those who don't remember history are doomed to forget it
Relf Test Passed.
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness. -Sir Robert Hutchinson
SQUASH, do not crush (seen on a vegetable crate)
A factor of 3000 is actually significant - Andrew Hume
The difference between languages is what makes a language different.
seqno is 21, should be 21
Trucks must enter weigh station when flashing.
It's anl bart's fault!
*** ERROR, The clock must be ON to execute HALT command
rm: /n/coma/usr/norman/goo: File exists
ENV='${START[(_$-=1)+(_=0)-(_$-!=_${-%%*i*})]}'
Pure English is de rigeur.
Think globally ... Post locally att!hoqax!lmg
"Looks uncomputable to me" said Tom, haltingly.
Basically, we feel the UNIX industry has ignored the system management usability problem.
If you get to meet sufficently important people, it's ok to debase yourself. -pjw
--rw-rw-r-- f 0 bwk bwk 58372782 Jan 24 12:21 .profile
Take 2*3*5*7*11*13. It's divisible by 59. -Matt Crawford
cc: not found
Make checks payable to Free Software Foundation.
WARNING: Your password will expire in 13 days
These Robs,..and Conserves, are not to be given to costive Bodies. -- OED
Copyright (c) 1984 AT&T. All Rights Reserved
Both PH and FFF leave Ackermann's function coughing in the exhaust.
You can get a lot of riding mowers for a college education. -Bill Cheswick
Most programmers have no idea what they're getting into when they're programming in a windowing environment. -Mark Hanner
I have just spent two afternoons in Summit, and I am not happy. -pjw
Say what you will about the savings and loan crisis, it has done wonders for the ampersand.
SLOT 7 IS NOT EMPTY, THEREFORE THIS TEST DOES NOTHING
Awk is one of the world's greatest collections of surprises. -Doug McIlroy
You're only young once, but you can always be immature.
The implementation shall behave as if no library function calls the rand function.
Your fantasy will come true.
Mail version 5.2 6/21/85. Type ? for help.
warning: contravariance violation for method types ignored
Running is not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails.
X is a large contribution. -Hugh Redelmeier
If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
The purpose of est is to help you get along with other est students.
/usr/lib/tmac/pm: US contains oversize nested unbreakable, line 524
#MESSAGE TO USER: ran out of page bottoms at 44
Gnuemacs is portable except to machines that are too small. -Richard M. Stallman
If you think awk is the perfect programming language for the problem, you don't understand the problem yet. -Rob Pike
What C++ does for you automatically is very hard to watch out for. -Ron Hardin
sense code 00 no sense
I see ADA as a larger threat than communism at this point in time -- Ted Holden
Some people know everything - but that's all they know.
Castration is not a cure-all.
Multi-place measurements are for sissies. -Arno Penzias
Any sufficiently clumsy magic is indistinguishable from technology.
Congress is not the sole suppository of wisdom. -Rep. Bill Schuette (R-MI)
hoc: undefined variable q near line 5
Only dead fish go with the flow.
Never work more than thirty feet from your bed. - Ruth Bernhard
Genuinely skillful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet. -Karl Kleinpaste
``Workers of the World, forgive us!'' (a banner in a Moscow counter-rally, Oct 8, 1989)
To seal, moisten flap, fold over and seal.
The most effective debugging tool is still careful thought, coupled with judiciously placed print statements. -Kernighan, 1978
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. -Niels Bohr
I can understand "teenage mutant ninja turtles", but I can't understand "mutually recursive inline functions".
mk: sed 's%^% %' ... : exit status=|die: yankee dog
History doesn't repeat itself - but it rhymes. -Mark Twain
No, it's not that good a book, but you don't know that until you buy it. -Gerard Holzmann
A Trojan Horse is only dangerous if it's leaking.
Let's have Unix become the next Nintendo. - Larry Dooling
Love make, not more
Sybil gasped. There on N'Boto's palm was tattooed a perfect street map of Dundee...
Gerard insisted on flaunting his revolutionary thermal snood.
The first step is to determine what the remaining steps are. -Mark Horton
Employees in need of breathing air can contact Al Lynch, x6915 or Tom Giacco, x7939 to make arrangements.
A director is a man who presides over accidents. -Orson Welles
What is film after all but life with the dull bits cut out? -Alfred Hitchcock
I hate musicologists. They are like maggots on dead meat. - C. P. Killian
TSO keeps everyone happy (TSO macht alle froh)
It's only words ... unless they're true. -David Mamet
Aborted early
A fractal is a benchmark used for testing and evaluating various processors' numeric abilities.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't call the kettle black.
Knowledge does not keep any better than fish - A N Whitehead
Every man has a right to be valued by his best moment. -Emerson
Reality is a cheap hack. -Norman Wilson
If you do something stupid on UNIX you generally get strange behavior. -Doug Gwyn
So I think there may be some good information here. -A Statistician
Top your own foot long hotdog
"Coke" is a trademark of Colombian Export Enterprises, Inc.
NFS implementations are a continual source of surprises. -Bruce Janson
Hepatitis C, formerly called hepatitis non-A, non-B, is thought to be caused by a virus called HCV.
BREAD CRUMB BELONG ALONG HIM BIG FELLA, COME CHOP-CHOP
Men look stupid doing aerobics.
English is a 5-tuple ... -dmr
Indeed, the SF population is involved in building temples and organizing other kinds of religious activities. -Mark V. Shaney
No wonder Indians all leave... Being stuck with that food forever. - Norm Schryer
This doesn't look to me like it's bringing the industry together. -pjw, at an OSF press conference.
I'd still like you to explain that worm to me - Judge Munson to Robert T. Morris
A Fool, A Tool, A Pool; LOOPALOOTALOOFA!
What's Spaf gonna do if Purdue hires RTM?
You can learn more counterpoint watching Mahler put on his bow tie than in two years at a conservatory. -Schoenberg
If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put them all there?
Good news: that gum you like is going to come back into style.
The backbone of Science is the demo.
ERROR:No man in the saddle an no horse under it either.
By the time I leave office I want every single American to be able to set the clock on his VCR. -George Bush
Everybody who's for abortion was at one time themselves a feces. -Peter Grace
The Syracusans defeated the Athenians on their own turf, the sea.
Like raisins in a bread pudding, the moments lie within the body of Henry.
As a domestic animal, Othello is a child.
Morality is ubiquitous in everything that is good or bad.
Why should someone be penalized because he has studied diligently and deciduously in high school.
In the upcoming times of cutbacks, the defense industry can turn to making stimulation devices.
Today, the world is teetering on the brink of nuclear Agamemnon.
But when the chips are down, women hold the reins.
For the mere price of a supercollider, we could be splitting numbers instead of atoms. -Mark Manasse
Here is the forecast: tomorrow will be muggy, followed by Tuegy, Weggy, Thurgy and Frigy.
You'll look better in a miter washed in Woolite.
Quayle thinks that Roe v. Wade are options for crossing the Potomac. -Julian Bond
If we complicate things they get less simple.
Quantum Mechanics is a lovely introduction to Hilbert Spaces!
A real gentleman never takes bases unless he really has to.
The whole point of mathematics is to solve differential equations!
Trying to solve differential equations is a youthful aberration that you will soon grow out of.
Nature abhors second order differential equations.
I just want you to have a brief boggle at the belly-busting complexity of evaluating this.
...and you find you get masses of energy. -from a Relativity lecture
This must be wrong by a factor that oughtn't to be too different from unity.
It is the complex case that is easier to deal with.
...the non-uniqueness is exponentially small.
If it doesn't happen at a corner, but at an edge, it nonetheless happens at a corner.
This does have physical applications. In fact it's all tied up with strings.
We're not doing mathematics; this is statistics.
You mustn't be too rigid when doing Fluid mechanics.
There are two proteins involved in DNA synthesis, they are called DNAsynthase 1 and DNAsynthase 3.
Just because they are called 'forbidden' transitions does not mean that they are forbidden. They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see what I mean.
Apart from the extra line that's a one line proof.
This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left.
"This is the maximum power triangle." said a lecturer, pointing to a rectangle.
The attempt to fully simplify an expression will often fail to nonterminate.
Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes
You've gotta put a void THERE?
Dijkstra is known for GOTOs, I'm known for whales... -S.C. Johnson
Does "Xmas" celebrate the birth of Malcolm X?
Attention, Eduardo, the moon is red.
The barracuda sleeps at sundown.
The shark leaves a golden trail.
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. -Robert Benchley
aug 28 10:00 mh 1d-224 h yasuoka, issp, nmr and nqr in high tdcu and related cu oxides - u63dcu and u17do nmr in ybad2ucud3uodyu
"p1_isup.c":756:compiler error: out of temporary trees
According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy.
Sizing and clearing 64 Mbytes of memory! Initialize local hardware!
In the sentence `The logical operators are OR and AND and XOR,' there should be spaces between OR and and and and and AND and AND and and and and and XOR.
Keyboard not present, press any key.
Why doesn't FSF pick on someone their own size?
Apres moi, le kludge. -James H Fischer
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things. - Dan Quayle
Forgive your enemies, but remember their names. -- John F. Kennedy
cpu: can't dial helix.cpu: ken hasn't implemented datakit
Hay, be seedy! He-effigy, hate-shy jaky yellow man, oh peek, you are rusty, you've edible, you ex-wise head!
Hay, be seedy! He-effigy, hate-shy jaky yellow man, oh peek, you are rusty, you've edible, you ex-wise he!
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. -- Oscar Wilde
parser/decl++.c:1700: warning: empty input file
NEVER name an array after a bessel function!
Everyone please save /usr/news/102.sup
Buy DOS, get Unix free!
The only things certain in life are X and taxes. - Bart Locanthi
If at first you don't succeed, have a beer.
If you were plowing a field what would you rather use, 2 strong oxen or 1024 chickens? -Seymour Cray
X-Andrew-Authenticated-As: 0;imposter.samsung.com;Mr. System
You know when you have a dream that includes Mark Horton that it is time to give up sleeping.
American Non Sequitur Society: We don't make sense, but we do like pizza.
I can't work out who i'm supposed to be hiding my information from in any case. - Bruce Ellis
The FSF is not overly concerned about security. - FSF
English is a stationary halibut?
I have never let my schooling interfere with my breakfast cereal.
Intoxication, whether Dionysian or Apollonian, of an aggregate is the second-biggest disappointment in a fight with a hammer.
Happiness is just gymnastics--and I hate programs that read standard output. -Boyd
Oh! It's one of those programs that reads standard output. - boyd
A sharp tongue is the business of the grapes.
For every action there is an awesome engine of contagion.
A big rock has to be a nut about success.
Money will say more in one moment than the wife of a sick goldfish.
Electronic music has clearly come to he who drinks.
One bad apple can ruin a snake.
SCCS: the source-code motel -- your code checks in but it rhymes. -Mark Twain
Make: Don't know how your program works
inews: Article rejected: mvs included more text than new friends, old clothes.
Keep flammables away from hurricanes for a secret mission.
Gcc is mainly a CPU integer-intensive benchmark written in C.
We had no idea how the Patriot would stand up to the Scud, and now we're proving it.
Bush has it backwards -- abortion is surgical; bombing is murder. -Brian Harvey
It's better to get mugged than to live a life of fear. -Freeman Dyson
Friends are classes that are permitted to see each other's private parts. (in C++)
Geez, you'd think standards were a continental disease or something. - Brian Reid
Ansitise, v.: to pollute code; converse of sanitise.
Posixiate, v.: to kill code or render it unconscious. See asphyxiate.
Svindle, v.: to rob someone of code, remove functionality.
ISO-late, v.: to delay production of code, to slow down code.
OSIfy, v.: To make code impenetrable.
warning: fioread.c:17 set and not used: goal
I try not to run down MTS's in public. -P.J. Weinberger
There are tons of bad AD and DA convertors out there, but they don't make Nyquist wrong. -Marc LoCascio
This is like ignoring both the speed limit and the odometer in your car. It won't get you far. -Kenneth P. Birman
I didn't really expect to find elephants on the airport runway, and there weren't any. -dmr
"Objective" and "subjective" are not entirely subjective. - Penn Jillette
The alpha is doing a lot more computation than a lightbulb -- rob
It is rarely wise to underestimate the taste of the truly pious.
WAIS allows relevance feedback
Once you start talking about Nothing, people think you're some sort of idiot. -John Cage
Why is there only one Monopoly commission?
If something could be done about cache misses, programs would run about twice as fast. -Andrew Appel
mount: mount /srv/boot /n/bootes: permission denied
Kudos to everyone on the WKSH Team!
the application "unknown" has unexpectedly quit, because of sys.
BUSINESS UNIT NEWS:
o UNIX System Labs launches a torrent of announcements
/bin/ls: exec header invalid
If you wish to vote "No opinion" on any topic, you must cancel gut.wksh and execute gut instead.
Huiswants es.
Motto: Compute with fermions, communicate with bosons. -Vincent Heuring
The flip side of change is trust. -George Bush
We are changing the alignment, not the membership. -John Mayo
The President [Bush] is just a guy who sucks in life. - White House aide
At MIT the server is the unit of invention. -Rob Pike
The dependency dag for a target consists of nodes connected by directed arcs.
I was an asshole when you (philw) were still a gleam in your father's eye. -Bob Flandrena
Beleidigungen, Beschwerden und Flames bitte an NUL schicken.
Fashion, though a goddess, is a fool, and all her worshippers..are nincompoops. E. S. Barrett
You advocate a lot of egg sucking but you're not very forthcoming with the eggs. Phil Winterbottom (to ken)
My pile of equipment is bigger than your pile of equipment -- philw
Mathematics is ... the hot and chaotic work of the devil. Quayle needn't know this. -Vaughan Pratt
51HAren't you glad you don't have to do this anymore?
Virtual caches are the worst idea since register windows. - Phil Winterbottom
cetus news: Cannot open /usr/news/
``Ausserordentlich chaotisch, dissonant, und häßlich.'' -review of premiere of Beethoven's 9th
Why is the text on my screen turning umop-apisdn?
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. -Ken Olsen, 1977
coproc proto viol
Time wounds all heels.
Live fast, die young, leave a long publication list.
150 Opening ASCII mode data connection for 9ss.Z.
Maximum number of users exceeded - try again laterConnection closed by foreign host.
Connected to 192.65.218.43.
When in doubt, twirl. -Ted Shawn
¿Tôø müçh öf á gòód thìng?
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. -Frank Zappa
Quando la neve si scioglie si vede la merda.
I wonder how Plan 9 could be used to monitor shut-ins? -- L. Bernstein
Semper ubi sub ubi.
Lesson 10 - Who killed Bambi?
Is it a lot of blokes with long hair and guitars around their necks? -Keith Richards (on Nirvana)
Much may be made of a Scotchman, if he be caught young. - Samuel Johnson
Memory tests terminated by keystroke
Rome deserves you. - Tiberius to Caligula.
as1: Error: ../bpvvv.c, line 1324: Too many float literals--compile with "-Wb,-nopool"
} /* the next line is indented funny to preserve old indentation */
syslog(LOG_WARNING,"/etc/copyright may be too large");
Cab drivers are living proof that practice does not make perfect. - David Dinkins
It's well we cannot hear the screams/That we create in others' dreams.
At twilight, objects often start/To make odd sounds and fall apart.
A random thought, if said aloud,/May soon attract a hostile crowd.
A timely use of glue or paste/May well prevent a shocking waste.
One cannot hope to end one's life/With nothing but a butter knife.
The seaweed on the shore cries out/But only it knows what about.
It's possible to pick up crumbs/By pressing on them with the thumbs.
The one who wants to put on airs/Should not attempt them on the stairs.
The person who today is here/May by tomorrow disappear.
The helpful thought for which you look/Is written somewhere in a book.
A one- or two-inch piece of string/Cannot be used for anything.
Upon your person keep a pill/In case you're taken deathly ill.
Britain has football hooligans, Germany has neo-Nazis, and France has farmers. -The Times
Government Warning: According to the Surgeon General you're going to die.
Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est.
Please do not urinate in the rain gauge. - sign on Mt. Kilimanjaro
Nothing is worth spending a week with bureaucratic Germans. -rob
The implementation should provide some reasonable value (80? 255? 509?) rather than something unusable like USHRT_MAX. - ANSI C Rationale
Real data are normal in the middle and Cauchy in the tails.
accom: Warning 310: restart.c, line 148: A file with no declarations or definitions is accepted as an extension to ANSI C
Always go for overkill. -Lou Reed
Available only for MEI designed 3.5"MO series. Do not use it absolutely in another drive.
Is the tool broadly supported or maintained?
You don't need rain in a movie, and you don't need ``paradigm'' in a book. - Penn Jillette
Routine work drives out creative work - Arno Penzias
If my career depended on dot-dot, I'd be on the dole. - philw
>>>'/܇D/' panic: decref
150 years ago everybody was a Christian Scientist. dmr
Featuring the Intel 14.4EX with V.42bis and MNP5
Look what David Koresh did, rather than go home and visit HIS parents! - Teller's mother
It appears that people would rather have their hands on the wheel and drive off the cliff than be thrown over naked. (scj in Computing Systems)
'Gigabit' seems to mean 600 megabits. It's a VAX gigabit. - ken
Valid license for the following required when not using dbx on kernel. Product OSF-DEV (OSF Developer's Kit): No license found.
Life is hard. It's even harder if you're stupid.
I'm pulling *something* here. - Dom Marotta
From: No gas will be sold to anyone in a glass container <SKASS@DREW.DREW.EDU>
Figure 1b shows how C++'s pure virtual functions turned a black box into a toroidal design
(accom): tasks.c, line 7576: accom: Internal: Out of tree space. Cannot continue compilation. The current size was specified as or defaulted to -Wf,-XNh1000 giving a table size of 1000. Recompile giving a command line option to increase the table size. Example option giving a larger table: -Wf,-XNh2000
No UNIX system on the market supports more standards than DEC OSF/1.
I despise the little old ladies of both sexes. -Charles Ives
What does sound have to do with music? -Charles Ives
YOU are welecome to Cheboxary!!
I don't need any help, 'cause I'm not doing anything. -Howard
ugen: warning : line 979 : ../../../../../../src/usr/ccs/bin/ugen/const_idiv.p, line 230
VAX portability is assured.
Additionally, the paper [xxx] can serve as an excellent tool to help any new project introspect about how it will do business. - Jim Coplien
We are not wholly an island, except geographically. - John Major
I'm drawing a line under the sand. - John Major
Always wear underpants beneath your kanzu before you mount your bicycle.
Humiliation is intrinsically comic. - Frank Conroy
C gains much of its vaunted efficiency by employing a very powerful pre-processor, usually called a ``programmer''.
T-shirt: Mom and Dad invented OOP in the 70's and all I got was C++
DEC OSF/1 V1.2 Worksystem Software (Rev. 10) The installation software has successfully installed your system.
BD-445G (red compact car) lights no longer on
Checking system endianess... Big endian
Subject: ** PROCESS CHANGE ALERT ********************** ERROR:(-)input line 8:LI:no lists active Distribution: ihlpb!pca-usi5e
If Dennis Ritchie were the man who developed Modula-2 then C would be long forgotten. -Tarjei Jensen
From --rw-rw-rw- Sun Aug 15 04:21:17 EDT 1993
If you're smart you'll remain ignorant - bobf
They bit the wrong chicken's head off with their own teeth and got blood all over their shirt - nls
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. -Gertrude Stein
A coach is someone who lives and behaves Our Common Bond, and views each coaching interaction as a real measure of truth.
Standards is an area that is constantly changing. -Carl Cargill (ed. ACM StandardView)
This will be sexy: nothing like a good tty driver to turn you on. - Phil Winterbottom
To find out a person's userid, ask him. --IBM VM/CMS Primer
Blessed be the optionless, for they shall not eat gnu
Every old barn can use a little paint. - Tammy Faye Bakker on Primetime Live 11/18/93
The sendmail security patch will be available in approximately two weeks.
Diversity better than intensity -- Xerox PARC talk (conclusion)
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe with a hundred foot clipper.
If a train station is where a train stops, what's a workstation?
I just want a bare-boned, straight EMACS. - Rae McLellan
Cohesion and coupling are intertwined.
SPEC results inflated by too many compiler flags. -Microprocessor Review
a.out: does not have gp tables for all it's sections
?warning: write might change good version of `sendmail'
Being afraid of X is about as sensible as being afraid of sendmail.
I wish these damn scientists would leave intelligence to the experts. -Gen. Richard Stillwell (CIA)
#include... <depending on your compiler>
I don't like to spend my time on sterile discussions -- Bjarne Stroustrup, in The Evolution of C++
There is no problem so simple that management can fix it. - Dave Presotto
Fat Triangles Determine Linearly Many Holes
We send our young men to fight wars. Ants, at least, send their old women. - E.O. Wilson
#/->/ := #/->/
*** Message content is not printable: delete, write or save it to a file ***
It's a tiny change to the code and not completely disgusting. - Bob Manchek
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers. --Charlie Hall
emacs: Terminal type "emacs" is not powerful enough to run Emacs.
xterm: Error 50, errno 1: Too big
RMS was neither ignorant nor lying. He simply used word choices that created confusion.
User Needs Drive IS To Wherehouse -- OS Today headline
Probably not a complicated question - how does the mount driver work? - C.R. Kalmanek
Subject: no subject (file transmission)
If you find any unidentified object under your seat, please do not attempt to smoke it.
ML is a language for people with excess IQ points. - John Ousterhout
The Big Bang theory: In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Someone's searching for sex in the 800 database.
1181258 SAVECORE SEGMENTATION FAULT WHILE TRYING TO SAVE CORE
Middleware is the implementation of a concept. - Ed Szurkowski
FOUND IN SUPPOSEDLY EMPTY EQUIPMENT, MATTOON, IL POST OFFICE 61938
To back up the 57th platter in the file system type 'wormingest 49; wormcp 62 49'.
/n/a:/100377-15/sun3/4.1.1/sendmail: Ascii & Extended Latin & Cyrillic & Hebrew text
Not responsible for errors in typo.
This is AT&T. Communication is our business, not our mode of working. - Jim Clemans
How much clearer everything is when you underline! - Ron Hardin
Improve our mechanisms for sharing BU and "white space" opportunities knowledge and laboratory and center capabilities so as to assure optimal use of contrained resources.
The Internet grows hyperbolically, but is usually described elliptically. - Dr. Internet
Microsoft - We put the "backwards" into backwards compatibility.
Many will urinate with joy in having shared in the hacking of your neck. - a comment on netnews
[Acting] was a lot more difficult than modeling. There's a lot to remember. -Cindy Crawford
Everything that can ever be invented has been invented -Charles H. Duell, Commisioner of U.S. Patents, 1899.
The complex-type shall be a simple-type. ISO 10206:1991 (Extended Pascal)
The "do one thing well" philosophy underlying UNIX is best realized in a fully object-oriented environment. - some Linux guy
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as "users". - Edward Tufte
I think you have to really be an engineer to run a technology company. - Bill Gates
hd2: model oCnnreP repieharsl6 with default 1471 cyl 5 head 17 sec
I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job - George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign
This is a great day for France! - Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral
I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change. - Dan Quayle
What a waste it is to lose one's mind-or not to have a mind. How true that is. - Dan Quayle addressing the United Negro College Fund
The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. - George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline
I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what drives me. - George Bush
Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize. Bush: Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time.
#define n_zeroes _n._n_n._n_zeroes
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
Sorry, the passowrd you asked for is too long. Please choose a password that is 2147459392 to 8 characters long.
Television is a medium. So called because it is neither rare, nor well done. -- Ernie Kovacs
The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony No. 9.
This is the best recruiting season we've ever had. - Ken Thompson, Dec 21, 1995
Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate that!
Here in Nuremberg, information hiding is much more popular in the organization than it is in the software...
yes >/dev/kmem # Shutdown is broken. This'll have to do
"No one steals our chicks," sneers Duke, "and lives."
You must engineer for the technology curve and set the intercepts to match the emerging business markets. - Phil Winterbottom
Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß mann schweigen.
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. -- Steve Hoflich, compl.lang.c++
This is SGI Bug #375613.
If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
error code 4A: Could not free fingers from storage slot after insert
At Microsoft, quality is job 1.1.
You are thehttp://counter.digits.com/wc/-d/4/cpluscounter visitor since May 1, 1996
It's hard to compete with conventional cukes.
PEALSE CAN YOU ADIVE ME WHAT TO DO :)
License Error : The license for this product(SPARCompiler C) has expired
ARMY FOCUSES ON SECOND BASE IN SEX PROBE
In Pursuit of Software Excellence: If you want to become a leader, follow the leaders.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas
In label expressions, <> expressions are ignored inside .char expressions.
I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short. Blaise Pascal in: Lettres Provinciales, #4, Dec 14, 1665
If I had more time, I should have written you a shorter letter. Mdm. de Staël (1766-1817)
UNIX geek since 486651600
Speed is more important than anything else in management. - Henry Schacht
No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied occurrence identifies an operator-defining occurrence which as an indication-applied occurrence identifies an indication-defining occurrence different from the one identified by the given indication as an indication-applied occurrence. - Algol 68 Report
Cwm fjord bank glyphs vex't quiz.
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington
Clearspeak also is a euphemism for what advertising people call the "dominant brand" or "masterbrand" approach. - Bell Labs News, April 1, 1997 (but not April Fool's)
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette
Note: gtest.java uses a deprecated API. Recompile with "-deprecation" for details.
Malcolm [grandson of Malcolm X] walked into court yesterday afternoon to face charges of juvenile delinquency, mumbling and hiding his head under a red plaid blanket. - N. Y. Times
Usenet is like letters to the editor, only without an editor. - Larry Wall
Who are you going to believe? Me or that lying sheep? -- Jim McKie
Line 3 of "/usr/add-on/trouble/bin/trouble": syntax error; saw '<'. Undefined: "Main"
I don't think you can really know how heavy something is until it has fallen on you. --LeMel Hebert-Williams
I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not. --Alan Smithee
Are you sure you want to send 'Pleonasm' to the recycle bin?
The days of the digital watch are numbered. -Tom Stoppard
^Eds: SUBS 3rd graf, `So what's ...' to remove accent from 'derriere.'
WELL YOU MISSED IT. I WAS ON THE RADIO AND WAS IN A CONTEST TO WIN FLEETWOOD MAC TICKETS. I WAS MCNICKOLS. I WORE A TUTU AND POURED 2 GAL. OF HERSHY CHOC. OVER MY HEAD. I GOT 2ND A GIRL IN A TEDDY EATING DOG FOOD AND BARKING WON. MALE JUDGES GO FIGURE (IT WAS SEE THROUGH)
It's a very good idea to compare apples and oranges, that's a big part of what thinking is about. - Penn Jillette
Your glasses will include miniature video cameras that will give you a stereo vision of your environment. -- Arno Penzias
Music is the pleasure the human soul experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting. -Leibnitz
^Bearded lady, friend killed in possible case of mistaken identity<
I think I'm getting mellow in my old age. - Phil Winterbottom
Cu' si marita sta contentu 'nu giornu, cu' ammazza 'u porco sta contentu n'annu
How can they identify me? I had a mask on. - Weird News criminal
If it has more than three chords, it's Jazz. - Lou Reed
If there were a god, we'd be able to walk upright without back problems. -Penn Jillette
Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues.
No viewpoints are banned. Except those banned by the law. -- Iranian President Mohammed Khatami
uopt: Warning: insert_aux__91deque__pt__78_21basic_string__pt__2_c45__default_alloc_template__pt__13_XCiL11XCiL10XCUiL10F103__deque_iterator__pt__79_21basic_string__pt__2_cR21basic_string__pt__2_cP21basic_string__pt__2_cXCUiL10105__deque_iterator__pt__81_ exceeds size threshold; to optimize this procedure, use -Olimit option with value >= 1217.
"shaneystl.c", line 24: Note: Type "CC -migration" for more on anachronisms.
The Lucent Real Estate Strategic Intent: "One ignited team, unleashing productivity through bold work place solutions and unforgettable service."
This program cannot be run in DOS mode.
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now?
Millenium parties/with loud music, lights and joy;/then, how cold!
Stupid programmer,/think ahead next time, when the/power's back.
Windows 98 is/compliant with minor bugs,/store water!
Hire more programmers/for Y2k Bug now -- Oops,/lights are out!
Y2k is just/a scam for consultants -- hey/Martial law!
Two digits lost,/the railroad switch spills coal --/scavengers!
UX:cancel: WARNING: Request "SPARCprinterII-64" is done. TO FIX: It is too late to do anything with it.
If you give a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day. If you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
We don't write assembly language, we steal it. - brucee
The Elements of Style is as much as guide to success as it is to grammer. - Reader on amazon.com
Simon says, ``Don't be so suggestible.''
The IAU reports that RX Pup has returned to a state of high excitation and has had a mass-ejection event.
JAVA truly is the great equalizing software. It has reduced all computers to mediocrity and buggyness. - NASA's J-Track web site
warning: Hit heuristic-fence-post without finding enclosing function for address 0xfa2e470
Stare at the thumbnails closely to view larger images.
This is a ruggedized telephone, it does everything a normal telephone does, but ruggedly. - Al Gore
All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand. Sir Boyle Roche, MP
There's really no way to fix this, and still keep Perl pathologically eclectic.
Welcome to Netscape Quality Feedback Agent - Step 1 of 3
FOR FASTER SERVICE, PLEASE CALL US WITH YOUR REFILLS 24 HOURS IN ADVANCE
Anthrax is cool. - Tad Hunt
(never claims generated from LTL formulae are stutter-closed)
/text/plain00charsetUTF-80 you stuff by snail,
War in the Clinton era is just P.R. by other means. - Michael Hirschorn
If I can see a bit further it is because I stand on the shoulders of Hungarians. - Mathematician Paul Winkler
I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs. - Sam Goldwyn
We do not need phones, we have a lot of messenger boys - British Scientist in 1876
I did write and prove correct a 20-line program in January, but I made the mistake of testing it on our VAX and it had an error, which two weeks of searching didn't uncover, so there went one publication out the window. - David Gries, 1980
It's not whether you win or lose; it's where you place the blame.
ISDN: PPP-Daemon funktioniert nicht mehr
Hey medalist, don't forget to take out the recycling. -- Bonnie Thompson
There are three kinds of people - those who can count, and those who can't.
You buy 'em books and you buy 'em books and they just chew on the covers.
I wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock.
This should only be a momentary outage, of about 10 minutes or so.
The ignored registers are for future backward-compatible extensions. - IA-64 Application Developer's Architecture Guide
/lib/shakespeare/sonnets: limbo program
Does the additional overhead of doing a function call make this act less atomic? -- pip
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
Are you proposing a solution or just whining? - Dave to Dave
Nothing says "happy father's day" quite like the flesh-stripped skull of a moderate sized rodent. - Corey Thompson
You are running the GNOME File Manager as root. As root, you can damage your system, and the File Manager will not stop you.
A document with the name `junk.xls' is already open. You cannot open two documents with the same name, even if the documents are in different folders. To open the second document, either close the document that's currently open, or rename one of the documents. - Microsoft Excel
When your output is negligible, losing a day's work is insignificant. -- presotto to rsc
Expensive solutions to all kinds of problems are often signs of mediocrity. - Ingvar Kamprad, founder of IKEA
Ches is the Dennis Rodman of science. -Cliff Young
if your terminal stops booting, I'll be in the unix room.
The system suspend request has been rejected. To conserve power, shut down the computer. - NEC Versa LX
If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue. - Sears & Roebuck catalogue, 1897.
This program is protected by US and international copyright laws as described in the About box.
Lucent in Motion is almost in full swing.
pi + onions = opinions
If there was [sic] a single standard for the English language it would not be necessary to support redundant spellings. - OSF1 ls(1) man page
Set an example for your kids by learning to read and write.
21st Century Cyborg Returns To Kill Waitress.
I'm smiling on the outside and beating you senseless on the inside. You creep! -- S.P. Eills
You will set the register! To the correct value!
Anti-Virus Software Users: Some anti-virus software programs may interfere with the download and should be disabled while installing the Microsoft software.
You gotta think of fear as a tool. - Phil Winterbottom
His hand was bitten by his own side in an offhand way. - Mark V. Shaney
The more things change, the more he loves the flag. - Mark V. Shaney
Don't meddle in the mouth. - Mark V. Shaney
Will the call be routed on the same switch or will it go out over a truck to another switch?
I may be a bad woman, but I'm awfully good company. - Fanny Brice
apmd[105]: On-line: * * * (100% unknown)
P.P.S. Thanks for helping make BUY.COM the #l online computer retailer.
I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching. - Jack Handey
I only lie to the ones I don't like, the ones who ask stupid questions.
The proofs of the associative, commutative, and distributive laws for the integers are exercises in induction which might be called ``Peano playing.'' - An algebra textbook
The observation could be "a real break-through" in osteoporosis treatment. - Science magazine
Life is very strange - compared to what? - Penn Jillette
Your search for difficentralia returned 0 article(s). If this is too many articles you may want to narrow your search. - www.nytimes.com
Sperm bank sued for tossing samples - Headline in Star-Ledger
Spell check: did you mean unicorde? - altavista
The Linux, and in particular the Free Software, movement, if not the mark of technological progress, is the sign of social progress. - muzzetta@videobank.it, in 9fans.
I do hope not to live long enough to see the launch of Quantum Windows. --Artur Ekert
In science, we give our highest award to people that prove us wrong. -- Michael Goudeau
Indian Hill is like the Borg. -- Phil Winterbottom
My sister married a German. He complained he couldn't get a good bagel back home. I said: 'Well, whose fault is that?' - Emo Philips
--rwxr-xr-x M 9501 geoff geoff 1417216 Dec 30 14:16 .
log10: SING error -- borland c/c++ 3.1
You have the power to write your own fortune.
.NOTICE; ;?This comment is definitely out of date
If at first you don't succeed, sky-diving is not for you.
boot: nop...cfs...session...no physical memory
doofus is God-like
The quantity specified for 3Com Palm Vx is too great. We only have -1 available. - some e-commerce site.
Man-animals cannot fly!
Software is the stuff that never works, always has to be maintained, and hardware is the other stuff. - Arno Penzias
Money, sex, storage, and bandwidth -- these are the things where too much is enough. - Arno Penzias
linux-2.3.99-pre9.tar: limbo program
temp &= 0x07FFFBFB; // clear bits 31 and 30
An error has prevented <%=ServiceName%> from locating the message.
8.out 723: warning: process exceeds 2100 file descriptors
A dirty mind is a perpetual solace. - Air Commodore Sir Charles Kingsford Smith
Vulcan Proverb: Only Nixon could go to China
Why I have to write echo "reboot" > reboot ? I prefer to write this.reboot = reboot - <alter@cybercafe.com.ua> (Alt)
There's method in the key of C.
Computers come in putty-colored boxes and have AUTOEXEC.BAT files and run screen-savers with flying toasters, and brains do not. - Steven Pinker
Your mail regarding "" will be read when I return.
Esperanto, why don't you come to your tenses.
That's why it's distributed. So it's always wrong somewhere.
BT,DT,fixed quite a few of them. - Al "-15kLOC during the last year" Viro
Please wait while Microsoft Outlook exits.
First off, I'd suggest printing out a copy of the GNU coding standards, and NOT read it. Burn them, it's a great symbolic gesture. - Linus Torvalds
Kitchen: Selecting Blendolini Causes Choco-Banana Shake Hang
I hope I can finish the garbage collector before I run out of ice. - brucee
This recipe [for toad in the hole] will stand or fall by the quality of your sausages. - Fanny Farmer
The machine FROG was re-named MESSIAH.
Your coat becomes like a car with the stereo playing and the car phone ringing.
Invalid null command.
We have discovered a pervasive nonstationarity.
No that's your chair. Mine has the drum machine on it. - Tad
Not mistakes - highly co-ordinated mistake opportunity initiatives.
If your neck is as wide as your head ... take the day off.
She will have SME (subject matter experts) from her organization call you ...
Man who stand on toilet ... high on pot.
If your article contains quoted text please take some time to pare it down to just the key points to which you are responding, or people will think you are a dweeb! -a unix news reader
The name "grep" comes from the vi editor. - An undergraduate computer science course
The Business Controls Communicator has been renamed to the GFS Process Assurance Communicator.
We don't write anything in Perl anymore, because [ksh93] has all the functionality built in. - David Korn, quoted on Slashdot
mk: no recipe to make 'rio.data.fsys.menu.scrl.time.util.wctl.wind.xfid.'
Lucent Technologies and strategic partner Fatbrain are pleased to announce ...
artist: unrecognized message 'Elvis Costello'
It's not only stupid it's wrong!
Routers don't need IP addresses. -- Alex Mezhibovsky
syntax error on line 1, teletype / syntax error on line 1, teletype * 0000110 e9 u 8a h ? q m P ` { a7 $ d4 | + ~ = /
So long as system messages are phrased as if a patronising aunt were addressing a retarded 4-year-old, they will continue to love it. - Patrick Ford on Macheads
NT password change form: Password Change Unsuccessful: DS getobject failed for WinNT://AP01/na01\presotto: Error 80005004,.
I hope my TV's software update finishes before Gilligan's Island is on.
rc: Usage: whatis name ...: fd out of range or not open
System time is a count of 100-nanosecond intervals since January 1, 1601. - Windows DDK Docs
There is insufficient memory. Save your document now. - Microsoft Word
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. -- George Bernard Shaw
A woman is only a woman, but I'm awfully good company. - Bill Gates
It is most enjoyable to talk with you.
Lucky Numbers 12, 14, 19, 24, 36, 43
Lucky Numbers `{seq 100}
junk: 644 mode. Remove ? (yes/no)[no] :
Pharr is about a day and a half.
OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR
I found VC++ GUI programming more grief than COBOL using cards! :-)
"If blackouts are going to occur, there's no reason for us to be kept in the dark," Governor Davis said.
--24 May 2001 Trojans are Stealthy, Damaging and Tenacious
If your home page is where your heart is, here's where to stay: University Park HOTEL@MIT
A lie of omission is still a lie.
Mountains come out of the sky and they stand there!
The gun law in Queensland is as follows: if you run out of petrol don't run out of bullets.
America? Astounding! All because of a fellow named Columbus and poor navigation!
Warning: MS SQL message: Login failed for user 'webreadonly'. Reason: Not associated with a trusted SQL Server connection. (severity 14) in C:\Inetpub\www.escient.com\buy.php on line 136
uname: not super user
2001.08.30=11:45:58.88-0400 transcript/666/12016387293 nutmeg[667] transcript: Daisy: Please say, Daisy its David or David. Or say, Daisy its me, so I know who you are.
Does anyone have Richard Stallman's phone number? I want to call him and tell him exactly what I think of his software. Criticism wants to be free. -dhog
Devil Duckie, when you float, it's like I'm bathing in a flaming moat!
Djahavagooweegend?
Free Dmitri - with every e-book!
Due to the sophisticated nature of DSL, Verizon Online cannot guarantee uninterrupted or error-free service, or the speed of your service.
%HVHI-W-TOOMUCHQI, Your QI level has exceeded your daily quota. Please log off now!
In the bad old days you'd just write a five line function to [calculate a CRC]. In the good new days, you declare a CRC class with at least three constructors, a destructor, a copy constructor, an assignment operator, a Calculate method, and then you make the calculated value private because God forbid people should be allowed to access it directly and then you need an accessor method, or why not have several such as GetCRCAsFormattedString I think I'll go and lie down now it must be time for my medication. - Andrew Simmons
Cookie import from '/usr/dhog/lib/cookies' failed: fil
Reality has got to stop! --Mel Lastman, Mayor of Toronto
Do you want to restart now?
Completed updating files, continuing to load Windows...
Enter your network password for Microsoft Networking.
Updating System Settings...
Give me source! Give me challenge! Give me ideas and theory and a fresh way at looking at our life! For people who crave knowledge and really want to understand our world there will always be smart projects like Plan 9. -- northern_snow78@yahoo.com
Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily.
Friends are better than monkeys.
ODBC API Function SQLGetPrivateProfileString is not currently implemented. Further warnings will be suppressed. hello world
More Not-Yet-Published Bestsellers - category on amazon.com
So, according to Rob Pike, "Window Systems Should Be Transparent", eh? Fortunately, Mac OS X supports *that* feature! - Brendan Connell
cat: read failed: Reached the end of the file.
Windows XP ... is the ``most reliable Windows ever.'' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ``the most articulate vegetable ever.'' - Dave Barry
Missouri loves company.
Why do you think a country that cannot measure in metric will switch to IPv6?
To me, dynamic libraries are like clowns. In both cases, I was frightened by one at an impressionable age and have loathed them ever since (Bozo tripped on his microphone and fell on me when I was 3, Multics got me at college). - Dave Presotto
The ``Never put snow on a frostbitten part'' virus has been detected within Lucent Technologies. This virus arrives in email with a subject: Why polish the corners off a sphere in a roomful of cubes?
Welcome To Slide Card
I didn't want to be frustrated my whole career, so I moved into computing instead. -Douglas Gwyn
O Factotum, velut luna, statu variabilis!
ls: /n/x/*start*: "/n/x/*start*" "./*start*" "./n/kfs/inferno/*start*" does not exist
Too many color components: 0, max 10
A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara.
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
rio: can't open display: initdisplay: /dev/draw/new: "/env/tabstop" file does not exist
The full documentation for cat is maintained as a Texinfo manual. If the info and cat programs are properly installed at your site, the command "info cat" should give you access to the complete manual.
Whether the stone hits the pitcher or the pitcher hits the stone, it's going to be bad for the pitcher.
Subject: Convenience Center Equipment Training
So, I'm getting on now, and people ask me, `What's it like to be old?' And I tell them ... I don't feel old, I feel young -- except there's something wrong with me. - Chuck Jones
Thank You for Logging Out!
**THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE FROM SOFTSHOE**
Perhaps we could also have a special section for the words of the prophet Bushnell, crying out in the wilderness - "The GNU Public Licence is a jealous Licence, Thou shalt have none other Licence but me" - andrew@mbmnz.co.nz
My belief is Sean's belief is Phil did it all wrong. - Sean Quinlan.
Ten Years Experience. New Needle. - sign on tattoo parlor
Please: Do Not Touch. Do Not Turn Crank. (This is Art: Nothing will happen if you turn the crank except that it might fall off.)
The Journal will accept papers and letters in Microsoft Word only.
That's nothing.. RMS sent me a .doc file the other day...
Belief is the death of intelligence.
ls: /usr/ken/bin: phase error -- cannot happen
To opt out from future mailings CLICK HERE
The X server config file can be found in a range of locations. These are documented fully in the XF86Config(5x) manual page.
Welcome to First Time Wizard.
panic: cannot happen? -rsc
Select 'Yes' if you need a Logo Motion on boot.
The Electric God, the Fire God, all came out to help the Falun in clearing up evil demons with their supernormal capabilities resembling electricity, fire, and tornadoes.
These actions are prohibited by law if you do not accept this License.
gcc.c:610: warning: string length `930' is greater than the length `509' ISO C89 compilers are required to support
One finger can't open up an anus.
The path to enlightenment requires no software.
Notegroups! They kill you!
Question: Did you ever have an important idea that you wanted to jot down, but... your portable, fold-up keyboard is all folded up in your pocket, and there isn't any flat place around to set it up on anyway?
Let's take Stallman's opinions and agree with them, even though we're not sure what he's talking about. -- someone on slashdot
They call themselves flower children but all I see is a lot of weed.
One in three criminals have cats.
"I instructed people on the team to follow the document retention policy, which I knew would result in the destruction of documents." -David B. Duncan
REMINDER! You're About to Get SMART!
Please note, the HomeLink logout button has moved to the upper right hand corner of the screen.
The function will not return until a character is read or the terminal is destroyed.
Expect change, refresh your browser often.
cpp0: Cannot allocate 939136576 bytes after allocating 457620 bytes
I'm Catholic in the same sense that if a cow was born in a tree then it's a bird.
You know, it's interesting, there is a universal God, in my opinion. - George W. Bush
Welcome, rqzgc_mfuv8
String manipulation is more complex than linked list manipulation.
The PSPDN TE sends data to the GPRS TE by use of the GSM PLMN GPRS DNIC.
A non-functioning unit should no longer be used.
Turing's ``imitation game'' eerily presaged today's world of chat rooms, where men pretend to be women, having lesbian cybersex with other women who are, in fact, men. - NYT Magazine, 8/3/2002
Computers are crap, but the Apple store offers a world without toilets. - James Grimmelmann
Please, serious  inquiries only.
He that steals a Bell-weather, shall be discover'd by the Bell.
To avoid undesired effects of optimizing compilers, use the SecureZeroMemory function.
A program that executes more instructions runs slower. - Pike's Law
The identity range managed by replication is full and must be updated by a replication agent. The INSERT conflict occurred in database 'prevacid', table 'PROCESS_CODES', column 'ID'.
Don't go with a spineless ISP. We have more backbone!
Isn't it funny how people say they'll never grow up to be their parents, then one day they look in the mirror and they're moving aircraft carriers into the Gulf region? - the Onion
If you're like most people, and chances are pretty good that you are, ...
PCMCIA == "People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms"
Please browse the site to see our full range of services, we can remain customer focused and goal-directed, innovate and be an inside-out organization which facilitates sticky web-readiness transforming turnkey eyeballs to brand 24/365 paradigms with benchmark turnkey channels implementing viral e-services and dot-com action-items while we take that action item off-line and raise a red flag and remember touch base as you think about the red tape outside of the box and seize B2B e-tailers and re-envisioneer innovative partnerships that evolve dot-com initiatives delivering synergistic earballs to incentivize. - www.anadrom.net
If you're calling to report a death, please press or say, "One".
i'm running windows xp under vmware in a vnc on linux being viewed from plan 9. (got that?) - rob
User: support@games.yahoo.com send to you mail with virus. Please check mail in attach !
Subject: I NEED YOUR ASSISTANT
Lucent's motto: Let's make things harder
MOZILLA_FIVE_HOME=/opt/netscape-6.2.3-us
If you haven't heard of XML yet, you must be living under a rock! - Programming in the .NET Environment
The second line computes the sinus of the result. - Programming in the .NET Environment
Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years, with time off for good behavior? -- New York Senator James H. Donovan on capital punishment.
rsc 5202 0:00 0:00 1710768K Rendez 8.portmapd
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The envMaxSize field is the environment file size. It must not exceed envMaxSize.
parser.h:16: ISO C++ forbids declaration of `ConsumeOffendingSymbol'
Click on the following link if you don't want to recieve any more email.
/usr/include/c++/3.2/backward/backward_warning.h:32:2: warning: #warning This file includes at least one deprecated or antiquated header. Please consider using one of the 32 headers found in section 17.4.1.2 of the C++ standard. Examples include substituting the <X> header for the <X.h> header for C++ includes, or <sstream> instead of the deprecated header <strstream.h>. To disable this warning use -Wno-deprecated.
with venti there's not a simple way to do anything. - rsc
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
static unsigned int minSz = sizeof(uslOBJECT_T);//calculate only the once!
Can be applied directly on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3, or on top of Tornado AE1.1 Cumulative Patch3 + patch 82607 + patch 83172. Patch 82607 and patch 83172 can not be applied on top of patch 84031.
Existence of this file indicates that the Nautilus configuration druid has been presented. You can manually erase this file to present the druid again.
EXECEPTION TABLE
H e ll o, I a m lo ok in g fo r a ni c e m a n. I f yo u w oul d li k e t o co rre on d wi th m e, pl ea se c li c k t h e li n k be w.
If email advertising won't sell your product than nothing will.
The colorful name kill() harks back to the origin of these interfaces in UNIX BSD.
Sorry, There are no Williams-Sonoma stores within 1400 miles of your location.
Few, few the bird make her nest.
Four eyes does see better than two.
So many heads so much opinions.
What come in to me for an ear yet out for another.
The walls have hearsay.
He has a part in the coke.
He has the throat paved.
Its are some blu stories.
He go to four feet.
Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
He has discorvered the pot to roses.
Laugh at throat displaied.
That make to come water in the mouth.
To become of bishop miller.
He sleeps as a marmot.
Take the moon with the teeth.
He has a good beak.
He is armed of foot at up.
In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings.
To build castles in Espagnish.
Cat scalded fear the cold water.
A take is better that two you shall have.
To eat of the cow mad.
To have a hare memory.
That which feel one's snotly blow blow one's nose.
To be weted even to the bones.
The dress don't make the monk.
The man propose, and God dispose.
To throw the handle afterwards the axe.
Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat.
A horse baared don't look him in the tooth.
Take the occasion for the hairs.
To buy a cat in pocket.
He eat untill to can't more.
He has a good top tongue.
The dog than bark not bite.
It freezes to break the stones.
It want to beat the iron during it is hot.
To the foulish words, no answer.
He is mad to bind.
He has the tongue very free.
He is more in debt but he weigh.
He is a good devil.
He don't know where give with the head.
I upon the night all cats are gray.
The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
Every country has their uses.
They shurt him the doar in face.
With the time come one s to the end of all.
Big head, little sens.
He has fond the knuckle of the business.
Words and feathers the wind carry them.
He turns as a weath turcocl.
A barber shave another.
Belly famished has no ears.
To good appetite it not want any sauce.
There is not better sauce who has the appetite.
The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot.
It is not for you that the oven is heated.
To force to forge, becomes smith.
Keep the curtains, the farce is played.
Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
Friendship of a child is water into a basket.
Burn the politeness.
Tell me whom thou frequent, i will tell you which you are.
After the paunch comes the dance.
Drink as a hole.
Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.
To eat as ogre.
It is a basket bored.
To look for a needle in a hay bundle.
Tu dispute upon the needle top.
To live in a small cleanness point.
It must to break the stone for to have almond.
To make paps for the cats.
To fatten the foot.
To craunch the marmoset.
IF YOU THINK THIS IS SPAM PLEASE REMOVE YOUR EMAIL OUR LIST
Linux programmer's mind: don't invalidate the D-cache unless it wasn't enabled
You should be automatically redirected to the new page in 0 seconds.
`An improvement is something your program will not work with and a bug fix is something it will not work without' -- Roger Needham
PLEASE! Don't urinate on the specimen.
For those who only have time to read Slashdot, may God protect you on your journey towards technical obsolescence. - David Patterson, on Slashdot
Homeland security begins at home. - Seattle mayor Greg Nickels
1 Dir(s) 70,368,744,161,280 bytes free
Has Your Life Been Ruined by Evil?
smtpdaemon is needed by diskcheck-1.4.2 - Red Hat Linux
You want to make your way in the CS field? Simple. Calculate rough time of amnesia (hell, 10 years is plenty, probably 10 months is plenty), go to the dusty archives, dig out something fun, and go for it. It's worked for many people, and it can work for you. - Ron Minnich
Recent studies have proven what most people already know: That most Penis Enlargement Pills are completely useless. We set out to design a program that really works.
From a Walgreen's receipt: I'm JESUS. I'm here to serve you with our "7 Service Basics"
I just realised something... I am NOT a nerd, and none of this stuff matters. I'm Outta Here! - some guy on Slashdot
Everything in UNIX is modelled as a "file", whereas in Plan9 everything is modelled after a "burrito" - some guy on Slashdot
Sense of terminal's easiness and functional file server!
Practically noiseless and impossible to explode. - ad for the 1897 Oldsmobile
info: Terminal type `dumb' is not smart enough to run Info.
k=k; /* To suppress warning */
debug1: Miscellaneous failure
That doesn't make sense to me. But then, you are very small. Perhaps you're right.
A company is only as good as its least imaginative manager.
Thank you for ordering from MEDCO SUPPLY COMPANY, INC., where 100% satisfaction is gu
(mozilla-bin:3115): Gtk-WARNING **: A floating object was finalized. This means that someone called g_object_unref() on an object that had only a floating reference; the initial floating reference is not owned by anyone and must be removed with gtk_object_sink() after a normal reference is obtained with g_object_ref(). - exit message from Mozilla
Hurray! We have successfully exploited a buffer overflow on the plan9 operating system! And most importantly, we did the most useful thing possible: we exited the shell. If you ever gain access to a plan9 box, remember that the smartest thing you can do is logout. - phrack article
You have synapses? I wish I did. My neurons communicate by shouting. It gets pretty noisy in my head. Some times all six of them are shouting at the same time. - presotto
Failed silent installation. May be failed to allocate Memory.!
An extended error was returned from the server. This is typically a string or buffer containing a verbose error message. Call InternetGetLastResponseInfo to retrieve the error text.
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
if_de.c:2401: sc->tulip_mediums[media] = mi;
Please let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more magical. Please note the field below is limited to 29 characters. - Disney World hotel reservation web page
Telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head meows in Los Angeles. And radio operates exactly the same way — you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -Albert Einstein
Hi. My name is %{NAME%}%, I am 25 years of age. I happen to see your profile on the internet. Come visit me some more by viewing my site. Ethel
As complicated as the semantics of virtual inheritance may seem, its support within the compiler has proven even more complicated. - Stanley Lippman, Inside the C++ Object Model
Who needs hallucinatory drugs when we've got quantum physics?
The essence of XML is this: the problem it solves is not hard, and it does not solve the problem well. - Phil Wadler, POPL 2003
tcp_extensions="YES". really i wanted "MAYBE" or "GOODQUESTION" or "YOUTELLME" or "YOU'RETHECOMPUTER!" - forsyth
int parse_url(unsigned char *url, int *prlen, unsigned char **user, int *uslen, unsigned char **pass, int *palen, unsigned char **host, int *holen, unsigned char **port, int *polen, unsigned char **data, int *dalen, unsigned char **post)
Please select an Aardvark
This thing is like a quarry where every pebble has something bad hidden underneath - Presotto about the Links source.
i'm not real convinced about this but I could be interesting. - boyd
If you are what you eat, then I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
/@burro.ws: Permission denied
return ({goto L; p;}) && ({L: 5;});
object-oriented design is the roman numerals of computing. - rob
Java is the f*cking COBOL of the 90s, and future generations of geeks are going to fly back from Mars to piss on our graves for inflicting it on them. - rasputnik@hellooperator.net
httpd_server* httpd_initialize(char* hostname, httpd_sockaddr* sa4P, httpd_sockaddr* sa6P, unsigned short port, char* cgi_pattern, int cgi_limit, char* charset, char* p3p, int max_age, char* cwd, int no_log, FILE* logfp, int no_symlink_check, int vhost, int global_passwd, char* url_pattern, char* local_pattern, int no_empty_referers )
it's easier to post to 9fans than to think. - boyd
We assume familiarity with Rubik's Cube, the delights of which cannot be presented adequately in a textual description! - an algorithms textbook
If you are idle for more than 1000 hours, the system will log you out. Please save reviews frequently.
We lead by following standards. - sape
-bash: /home/r/.bash_logout: Permission denied
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. - forsyth after Lennon on authentication
Network services at the Murray Hill, NJ, location (100001) will be unavailable due to UPS (Uninterrupted Power Supply) maintenance from 8:00 p.m. EDT on Saturday, June 26, to 4:00 a.m. EDT on Sunday, June 27.
Don't show this message again.
Service error -27.
Beauty is more important in computing than anywhere else in technology because software is so complicated. Beauty is the ultimate defence against complexity. - David Gelernter
Zatoichi: in theaters December 31, 1969.
recordio.h:992: type `__true_type' is not a base type for type `__false_type'
Telephone number has to be 10 numbers. For example, enter '8002158482'. Please contact us at 1-800-215-8482 for any assitance.
No one but a theorist believes his theory; everyone puts faith in a laboratory result but the experimenter himself. - Einstein
(Okay, Plan 9 isn't Linux, but it's a close relative).
Tux is not cute. Tux has the expression of someone right after knitting needles have been used to scramble the front side of their cerebral cortex. Tux scares me. - Ron Minnich
Setting up your SIP account will allow you to call both other SIP users as well as pstn phones. - Wim Sweldens
ntifs.c(202) : error C2064: term does not evaluate to a function taking 25732904 arguments
There's no "I" in team, but there's both a "me" and an "I" in media.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir, go ahead. I didn't realize you were root.
C++ is to C as lung cancer is to lung.
Warning: bad syntax, perhaps a bogus '-'? See http://procps.sf.net/faq.html
Those days [of "one tool doing one job well"] are dead and gone and the eulogy was delivered by Perl. - rob
We have found that the Real Player plugin, which is used by the BBC Radio Player, may or may not function fully depending on a combination of what flavour of unix/linux you are using, which browser you are using, which version of browser you are using, and which version of GCC built the plugin during installation.
Sheer [program] size is often an illusion, reflecting only a need for improvement. - Kernighan and Plauger
bootsplash: silent mode.
Trusting every aspect of our lives to a giant computer was the smartest thing we ever did! - Homer
Courts are not equipped to execute the law. - John Ashcroft
The Ken Thompson school of thought on expert systems: there's table lookup, fraud, and grand fraud. - Andrew Hume, quoted in ;login:
I am Davros, my Daleks are my servers and plan9 is my control board mwahahaha - Matt
What's grey? A melted penguin.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive one of these things?"
What do software pirates say? CD-Arrrrrrr!
Select only drivers expected to compile cleanly. - Linux kernel configuration option
usage: tar [-][{ruxXtcC}acdefhlm{o|S}pqvwLUBDRV{O|K}fb] [dir] [tapefile] [blocksize] file ...
/opt/exp/lib/firefox/bin/run-mozilla.sh: line 451: 16207 Segmentation fault "$prog" ${1+"$@"}
Linux is good if you want to run Apache or compile the kernel. Every other application is suspect. - Andrew Hume
/etc/bash.bashrc: alias unmount='echo "Error: Try the command: umount" 1>&2; false'
Book-burning is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to think of it as "English lit". - Larry Hollister
panic: bad rob
ulong when; /* may underflow in clock(); must be signed */
There is no interest in a WWW browser. This fad is clearly not going to have any staying power. - plan.9@research.att.com, Oct 22 1994
the representation of characters, but not the character set itself, was changed this weekend. we believe that the representation we are using now will become the one used by unix-like systems everywhere. - rob's news about utf-8, sep 6 1992
/* This variable is here only because of a historical reason. */
It's almost as though someone is creating billboards that read, ``If you can#t splel VaigrA, you cn mkae big $M$O$N$E$Y$ wtih b.ul.k adtervising on teh I*N*T*R*E*N*E*T.'' - Rob Kolstad
And, as you read, please forgive the necessary typos - I'm going for rock-solid facts, rather than spelling.
